Missing the point

Here’s the publisher’s description for one of the relatively recent Godzilla movies.

Mechagodzilla, the superior-armed, state-of-the-art, all-robot version of Godzilla, is undergoing repairs after his devastating battle against the world’s monsters. A pair of psychic fairies appear and warn scientists to stop rebuilding Mechagodzilla– but their warning goes unheeded. As the great robot nears completion, a series of mysterious incidents rock the world and awaken Godzilla, who unleashes a reign of terror against Tokyo. Mothra joins him and Japan’s desperate Prime Minister has no choice but to launch the unfinished Mechagodzilla against Mothra and Godzilla. But who will fight for whom? And in the end — will the survivor be monster, robot or man?

Are we clear here? Giant robot Mechagodzilla, Mothra and the big G. working together this time, and a pair of women not unlike the Mothra chicks. Tokyo’s in peril again. One of the commenters on the Amazon products page says “too often in the 90’s and 2000 series, classic set-pieces from the 60’s films are just re-worked into a different story and setting. This one uses the final epic battle from 1965’s Godzilla vs Mothera as its basis. Been there, done that – literally (like 50X). No surprises here.”

Godzilla and King Ghidorah fight it out

Godzilla and King Ghidorah fight it out

Well, yes. There are no surprises here. We don’t come to kaiju movies for surprises. We come to see men in rubber monster suits fight with professional wrestling moves. We watch for arch, superior aliens with bad motivations who get their comeuppance in the last reel. We want toy boats sucked into whirlpools, toy buildings smashed into rubble, toy planes swatted out of the sky. We come to see the brave men and women of the Japanese SDF waste billions of yen firing ineffectual rockets and shoot lasers out of a radar dish. We need to hate the annoying, spunky kids who alternately get themselves kidnapped, talk to the monsters, and figure out the strategy that saves the day.

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4 thoughts on “Missing the point

  1. drscorpio says:

    Well, I am surprised. I thought Mothra was “The Great Friend to All Children.” What’s he doing on a rampage? 🙂

  2. I am genuinely surprised I need to remind you., Frank. GAMERA is friend to all children! And is also made of turtle meat!

  3. drscorpio says:

    Indeed. I am conflating my kaiju.

    I blame MST3K

  4. Kaye-Kaye says:

    *shudder* These movies are delightfully awful and Vaughn *loooves* them!

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