Motley Crue. Oh excuse me, “Mötley Crüe.” Because nothing says metal like superfluous umlauts. (Now THAT’S a good name for a band.) I admit, I used to love these guys. The way they strutted around, their wailin’ guitar licks, the hawt chixxorz in the videos, the way-out clothing. That’ so distant to me now that it’s hard to feel anything positive for this stuff anymore. It’s all just manufactured and fake and unspeakably lame. But if you want to, relive the days of 80s hair metal with the video above.