Come for the moose, stay for the raping!

So as mayor, Sarah Palin decided that the town of Wasilla should stop paying for rape kits, the equipment hospitals use with possible sexual assault victims to establish evidence for police and prosecutors. This doesn’t even make sense if you’re a penny-pinching sexist asshole; if more sexual assaults can be reported and investigated, the courts can take more violent assholes off the streets. In reading about this scandal, I was surprised to discover that Alaska has the highest number of rapes per capita in the U.S. To defend the state against accusations that there’s nothing else for the ice truckers, fishery workers, and oil rig hands to do during the long months, I repost this imaginary entry from WyzardWhately of RPGNet.

Journal Entry #27:
Snowed in for over a month now. Have exhausted the possibilities of MSTing the stack of talking-animal Disney movies. Nobody can find the missing pieces of the jigsaw puzzles. The ennui is hellish, like a living thing that smothers our every attempt at pretending normalcy. People told us it was a risk out here, but I never expected the raping to set in so fast. Last night, Dwayne raped the couch. Melissa raped the refrigerator. Chris has claimed, truthfully or not, to have spent the night up in the attic, trying to rape the abstract concept of loneliness. If he would have just ran Nobilis for us like we asked him to, we might never have come to such a pass. Johnny and Cindy can’t stand the sight of each other anymore, broke up, and now rape each other every night. Nothing has changed, except now they’re louder.